For Craig
Weary Traveler of Life and Death
Stop clinging to the hard rocks and woes
That God hands out.
Open your eyes! Now!
Now, before you even blink
Slip off of the Wheel of Samsara
Swirl into the Eye of the Storm
Drift beyond the Sands of Cronos
And splinter into that still space
Where rainbows caress Earth's
green, wet, fragrant Bounty.
January 2009
Do I Really Love It When He Massages My Shoulders?
What is love? We classify it as a feeling or an emotion. But like most emotions, we often entangle it with thought until the emotion becomes associated with a specific event. For example, we might think, “I love it when he massages my shoulders,” or “I love home-cooked meals.”
But when we allow actions and emotions to become entangled with thought, they lose their spontanaity. Then we begin to believe that an action, such as having my shoulders massaged, will recreate a desired emotion, which in this particular example, is love.
The human mind is very good at bundling together the different components of an experience (i.e., the actions and emotions that created the experience). It is also very good at drawing conclusions about the experience (e.g., it was pleasant or unpleasant). Finally, the mind is adept at creating beliefs around the experience such as, “I like home-cooked meals.”
So let’s look at these very simple beliefs. Take for example, “I love home-cooked meals.” First let’s ask, is it true? In certain situations it may be true and in other situations it may not be true. So why do we allow ourselves to believe something that clearly isn’t always true? Most likely because we want to recreate, or else avoid, a particular emotionally charged experience. However, believing what the mind has to say about emotionally charged experiences is simply another way of saying that you are dreaming!
So you can choose to dream your life away (and continually be disappointed by the fact that reality doesn’t live up to your expectations) or you can choose to be fully present to each experience and each emotion as it comes your way. It is your choice. May you choose wisely!
December 2009
Connections
For just one moment stop texting
And look through and into
the eyes of God.
Sacred Symbols
All religions use symbols, in addition to words, to speak to us. Symbols represent, or better yet, embody, religions’ transcendent truths. They speak to us of the unification of heaven and earth, man and god and form and formlessness. They also speak to us of a “third way” that occurs when the transcendent not only meets but also unifies with the mundane.
For example, Christianity, one of the more modern religions, relies heavily on the symbol of the cross. Scholars have noted that the vertical line of the cross represents heaven while the horizontal line represents earth. In other words, the “planes of heaven and earth” meet within the cross. And Jesus, who is described as both a man and the Son of God, was strung up at the intersection of these two merging energies. Symbolically, not only was he of both heaven and earth but he also died in the process of trying to bring heaven down to earth.
Another symbol familiar to us is the Star of David (i.e., the six-pointed star adopted by Judaism). Although no one can definitively explain the symbolism underlying the Star of David (there are conflicting opinions as to its meaning), in the ancient Hindu religion, this same symbol represents the unification of worldly opposites (e.g., male and female, night and day). At a more abstract level, it represents the unification of heaven (the downward pointing equilateral triangle) and earth (the upward pointing equilateral triangle). Symbolically, form and formlessness have penetrated into each other to become one. In the process of becoming one, they also create something radically new (the six-pointed star).
Like the Star of David, the caduceus is another symbol that is widely seen today. In ancient times, Hermes, the Greek messenger god, carried a caduceus or staff of healing. Today, this staff has been adopted by medical doctors to symbolize a physician. But what hidden truth was Hermes' staff originally meant to convey?
The answer to this question can be found, yet again, in the Hindu religion. The specific attributes of the caduceus include a central, vertical axis with two snakes entwined around it. While a whole satsang could be devoted to this beautiful, historic symbol, suffice it to say that Hermes' staff represents the metaphysical healing of mankind through the union of opposites: male and female; Shiva and Shakti; as well as heaven and earth. Shakti, the energy of form, is rising up the caduceus to meet Lord Shiva who dwells in meditation (e.g., in formlessness) at the top. And when this meeting occurs, the world as we know it from our ego-based perspective, is snuffed out. It is snuffed out so that something new within us, perhaps symbolized by the wings at the top of the caduceus, can take flight. Thus Hermes, the messenger god, carries a caduceus to remind us that although we cannot avoid physical death, we always have the potential to be metaphysically healed.
November 2009
Words, God and Our Purpose in Life
Lately I’ve been pondering the inadequacy of words. One of my teachers, Adyashanti, often says something to the effect of: “My job is to fail gracefully.” And although he probably never uses the word gracefully – that is my word I'm sure– this statement does convey two important concepts.
The first is humanity’s inability to ever completely translate reality (as well as the ultimate reality) into ideas, notions, words and/or paradigms. Everything we touch, feel, see, taste and sense is filtered not only through the physical instrument of our body but also through our prior experiences in the world (i.e., our conditioning). But it is also our inability to fully describe form that makes the experience of form so exciting! In form, consciousness is able to experience itself from an infinite number of perspectives.
Just pretend that you are this vast consciousness (even though that is what you truly are) and then imagine what it would be like see an infinite spectrum of some color, say green. Imagine sensory information on a whole riot of green tints, tones and shades coming into your awareness willy-nilly. For no two humans or animals see precisely the same shade of green – if they see the color green at all. Green, therefore, is infinite and indescribable, just like snowflakes have an infinite number of variations within a prescribed form.
Humanity may be able to describe a generalized pattern with words, concepts and designs but it can never convey the multiplicity of patterns that exist within one pattern. And therein lies the failure of words. Words cannot easily describe the variance of form; they can, however, somewhat more adequately, describe its uniformity.
But it is the variance that is so extraordinary and beautiful. It is the variance that fills our hearts (or should I say heart) with joy! And our hearts, of course, lead us back to the source of everything, that great intelligence that some of us call God.
The second concept in the expression, “My job is to fail gracefully,” is, of course, grace. Grace is not something that we earn like money. It is unearned. It is something that is given freely and unexpectedly without the desire for something in return. Grace is a facet of love.
And so to fail gracefully is to fail with love. To fail at describing the infinite patterns, colors, sensations, rhythms and sounds of this universe that are so surprising and touching.
We are but a drop in the swirling, cosmic soup of form and formlessness with the ability to reflect one infinitesimally small portion of this vast, creative force back to itself – just as, from our earth bound perspective, the moon continually reflects the sun.
For those of you who wonder what your purpose in life is, consider the notion that your purpose is simply to reflect this vast creation back to itself while also enjoying the show.
September 2009
North, South, East and West
buddha
Holds The Buddha
HOLDS THE
BUDDHA
...INFINITELY...
The Heart
The heart, and by this I mean the seat of love, is a non-physical instrument that has the ability to function like the pupil of an eye. This heart can open and close. It can soften and become responsive (as the pupils do when their gaze is broad and unlimited) or harden in response to feelings of anger or fear. This heart can reach out and experience the world (as one does with sight) or it can withdraw like a tortoise into a shell of darkness.
Have you ever felt your heart shut down simply because someone didn’t agree with you or because they said something you didn't like? Most of us allow our minds to turn our hearts off and on all day - ironically without even thinking about it - in the same way that we routinely switch on and off the lights. Sometimes we go through entire days, and even weeks, without allowing our hearts to open. But our hearts were not meant to be operated by something that is constantly changing (e.g., our minds). Our hearts are meant to function independently of the mind’s egoic manifestations. Unlike our eyes, our hearts are meant to remain perpetually open, come what may.
This seat of love, called the heart, is a vestibule leading to that which is always present, unchanging and infinite. Love does not grow, shrink or diminish. Love exists regardless of the wanton movements of our calculating minds. Love is beyond the mind just as our heart, the seat of love, should also be.
August 2009
Heaven's Pas De Deux
The Gate Guardian
Rolls the Moon into Venus
Consciousness holds Love
Not Know Bright Moon Autumn
The Autumn Moon is a symbol of radiance but it can also be a cause of delusion. “Not know bright moon autumn” means that enlightenment need not be conscious of itself.
In contemporary terms, we say, “We are all enlightened, and have always been enlightened, we just don’t know it!” So the words that Zen master Gesshu Soko wrote in the 17th century - Not know bright moon autumn - still hold true today. Indeed, spirituality has been maintaining the same truths for centuries.
But if we are already enlightened then what obscures out ability to fully comprehend our true nature?
Primarily, the belief that we are separate. And as you already may have discovered, you can’t get rid of this belief in a separate self by pretending that you’re not separate. In the physical sense, you clearly are separate. There is your body, the body of other people and those of animals, plants and objects. In fact, everything around us colludes to tell us that we are separate. This is part of the duality, the form.
And yet, there is also the formless. The form and the formless are one. But what does this really mean? From the mind’s linear perspective, it all sounds a bit crazy! (It's like a Zen koan that the mind just can't fathom such as, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?") But it isn’t so crazy if you really allow yourself to perceive the world around you. Form and formlessness are always hand in hand. Once cannot exist without the other.
So what, then, is the formlessness that is all around us? It is the silence. By silence, I am speaking of something greater than a lack of noise. I am speaking of a vast, alive, pulsating energy that may first be perceived as a lack of noise. Yet it is something much more and that something cannot be described.
Trying to describe silence is like trying to describe sugar. What does sugar taste like if we have never experienced it? And once we have experienced its sweet quality, can words capture the exquisiteness of the experience?
Words, after all, are only a two-dimensional, symbolic notation of form, silence and emptiness. As such, they cannot fully capture, or convey, the multifaceted quality of our experiences. And yet, our minds are so good at categorizing form, with words, that we sometimes side-step the experience of form completely.
Take for example this bell. What you see is a bell but you probably don’t even really see this particular bell. You see everything that you know about bells when you look it. You understand that it can make a sound and that it looks like most bells and so your curiosity probably stops there. It’s just a bell.
But then ring it and suddenly the form becomes formless. The physical form of the bell creates a sound that slowly trails off. And if you follow this fading sound completely, it will lead you into silence. By following any experience completely, with all of your five senses, you will discover that every experience moves out of, and back into, silence.
Some experiences in life allow this movement from formlessness to form, and then back to the formless, to be perceived more easily. Think of the joy you get while watching fireworks, hummingbirds, the waves of the ocean or shooting stars. In these instances, we sense the movement of something vast and, ultimately, unknowable, that comes and goes, before we can fully perceive it, leaving us with a sense of awe.
So what is the sound of one hand clapping? In the end, it is the same as all sounds because at the end of sound is silence.
Form and formlessness are one.
June 2009
The Way
The process of enlightenment is a process of letting go into the harmony of the Way. The Way is present at every moment.
Perhaps our biggest obstacle to experiencing enlightenment if the fact that we are searching for something other than the present moment (the Way). It’s like being on a path that cuts neatly through the Himalayas and suddenly deciding, “This path isn’t the shortest route. I’m going to create my own way.” And so we literally pop off into the wilderness of mind.
There’s a lot to explore in this wilderness: New Age bookstores with all sorts of items and gadgets that tell you how to heal the inner child, or how the power of positive thinking can change your life, or even how to improve your future through tarot or tea leaf readings.
While all of these techniques may have some value, and perhaps can be used to provide you with a sense of empowerment, they can easily lead you off of the Way. Because the Way isn’t a technique, it is not a process that can be repeated over and over again in order to influence, or control, the outcome of events – which by the way is what mysticism is. Instead it can more accurately be described as a profound sense of letting go into the natural rhythm of life. When you are one with the Way, there is obviously only one way, which is the way of being full present to the moment.
Each moment presents you with the opportunity to let go. You don’t even have to understand that by not-attaching to this particular moment you are also detaching from earlier attachments, such as perceived childhood wounds, or repeated life patterns.
The beauty of the way is that it continually presents us with the opportunity to grow. We don’t need to seek out growth opportunities. We simply need to move toward that which excites us while not getting caught up in the "should s and shouldn’ts" of the mind.
If what stimulates or excites you is taking a class on astrology or the inner child then do it! The problem (if it can even be said that problems exist) occurs when we take that initial excitement and transform it into, “I need to do this to fix myself. There is something about myself that needs fixing” Then personal will has set in and you have stepped off of the Way.
Remember
Personal will is a manifestation of the belief in a separate self. It has limited life and potential. Like a child playing in sand, it can only create from the confines of mind.
In contrast, scintillating emptiness is pure potential. Effortlessly, wordlessly, soundlessly, it opens hearts long-buried by imaginary, desert storms.
But somewhere deep down, you know this. Don't you?
Haiku
Gazing down the throat
of a red-speckled orchid
Buddha swallows me.
Are You Meditating in Neutral?
Have you ever tried to drive your car in neutral? Every now and then, this happens to me and the car simply doesn’t move. There’s a lot of noise but no action.
Well, when you meditate you can drive in neutral or you can really drive. Take, for example, the simple instruction of “bring your attention back to your breath.” Your supposed to do this whenever you notice that your mind has wandered off. But, if applied mechanically, this instruction doesn’t really work. I know because for years I practiced meditation this way. When you bring your attention (which in the West we often interpret as “the mind”) back to your breath – there is still a “you” who needs to follow your breath. Furthermore, there is probably some part of you (i.e., your ego) that resists the idea of following your breath. So your mind switches into neutral.
Neutral happens when your mind questions the wisdom of doing something that it sees as pointless - especially when there are more demanding tasks at hand. Among meditators, a few of the more popular challenges are:
- Merging the BIG I with the little i; or
- Leaping fearlessly into the VOID, or perhaps even
- Mowing the lawn.
But if you bring just a tiny bit of scientific curiosity to your practice, following the breath won't lead you into neutral. Then you can discover what it is like to fully experience each breath. Watch as your lungs inhale (and they will inhale automatically regardless of whether or not your attention is on them) and notice how your body feels. Notice what feels tight, notice what feels alive and notice how the breath moves through your body, perhaps releasing tension as it goes. Also notice how creative the act of breathing is.
And then notice the emptiness at the center of this complex physical interaction. Notice the vast cavity of nothingness that lies at the heart of your body and that also resides within your lungs. And as you relax even further into the experience of your body and it simultaneous nothingness, it may become apparent that there is nothing to do. Simply being present with your breath is an absolutely fascinating experience that deepens naturally. And when you have lost yourself completely to the experience, the desire to do or get something is also lost. It has slipped away - maybe to mow the lawn - leaving you and your breath as one.
Heart Song
First there is a stream.
Then there is my heart.
Then there is my heart streaming.
Dark Night of The Ego
Christianity talks about the “Dark Night of the Soul” - Saint John on the Cross. It is described as a period of utter aloneness in which the individual completely experiences his or her separateness from other people and God. In Christian speak, one is unable to perceive the light of God.
In the depths of Winter, which is often marked by the months of January and February, you may experience a feeling “that you can’t go on” or perhaps, that you “can’t take it any more.” From your ego’s perspective, the darkness has surrounded you to such an extent that you feel paralyzed or frozen.
Such periods can more accurately be described as the "Dark Night of the Ego." For the Vast Consciousness that you are never experiences feelings of darkness or separation. In contrast, the ego will experience these states over and over again.
Each time the ego enters into this “night of darkness,” it is confronting – to a greater or lesser degree - the fact that it doesn’t really exist, that it is only a construct of the mind created through a belief in the concept of “me” and “mine.” Hence, the feeling of overwhelming darkness or emptiness. When you travel into this desolate landscape – or should I say dreamscape – because after all, that’s simply what the gray feeling is - you'll probably try to extricate yourself from it by imaging and then hoping for a more positive future. Like religions and myths, hope promises a light at the end of the tunnel, a rebirth into better times.
And so the ego finds comfort and nourishment in hope during its period of darkness. But try to remember that your ego - like a used car salesman - uses hope to remain in control until it can get you to buy into another dream or belief. It uses hope to create a slightly different playing field on which you can once again tilt at windmills - like Don Quixote. And tilt you will until your latest and greatest dream also begins to disintegrate and you enter a new period of darkness.
Does this process sound familiar?
This whole cycle plays itself out for us on a monthly basis with the waxing and the waning of the moon. It also plays itself out on an annual basis with the seasons. We move from the darkness of Winter, to the creation of Spring, to the still fullness of Summer, to the Autumn harvest and then decay.
So it is not surprising that in Winter we feel a sort of double-whammy! The Winter season often pulls us kicking and screaming into the Void.
For those of you who are sincerely seeking self-realization, allow yourself to enter such periods without an agenda (e.g., without pandering to the ego). What would happen if you experienced the "Dark Night of the Ego" without holding onto the belief that it will somehow be better down the road? What would happen if you allowed yourself to fully experience the Void? Tell me, would there be darkness? Or would you experience something incredibly rich and alive? You tell me.
Speaking the Truth
Become loyal to your innermost Truth. Follow the Way
when others abandon it. Walk the path of the Heart.
~ Unknown
When I finally decided that I wanted enlightenment above all else, a teacher asked me what I thought enlightenment was. Answering from my ego, I said something to the effect of, “It is being able to walk with Truth, Beauty and all encompassing Love.” And although I didn’t have the faintest idea of what any of that meant, it sounded like I thought it was supposed to!
So what is the Truth? From my perspective, Truth is not some all encompassing law, or laws, even though as humans, we would love to have such clarity. Personal experience tells me that the movement of Consciousness, the world and its events are much too complex and layered for us to ever completely fathom “The Truth.” Indeed, I don’t even know if there is an all encompassing, mental construct such as Truth. As Ramana Maharishi once said, “The expectation to see and the desire to get something are all the workings of the ego.” This desire to get something also includes the desire for an ultimate Truth.
So how can we speak the Truth if there isn’t a comprehensible reality called “Truth?” Over time, I’ve learned that we can connect to Truth by speaking our own truth.
To speak your own truth, you must be fully present to whatever is happening in the moment. It means being aware of your body so that you are aware of any feelings of resistance as they arise. Secondly, it means letting go - for one small instant - of any thoughts, feelings and habitual reactions (samskaras) that your mind creates in order to protect your ego. And from that split second of letting go, when you seem to be free- falling rather recklessly outside of your well-defined, defensive perimeter, you will be able to speak the truth.
The truth is simple and direct. It is not convoluted and does not require explanation. It carries within it a power that can, and will, be sensed by whoever hears it - even if the listener does not want to hear it and cannot mentally accept it.
Please do not concern yourself with how someone else will react to your truth. That is their problem, not yours. Simply remember that you are not helping them, or yourself, by denying your truth. Therefore, speak your truth without fear of what the next moment will bring.
Speaking your truth – which in the end is part of a larger Truth – will enable you to move closer to and integrate more fully into the vast consciousness that you are. Furthermore, it will have a ripple-like effect on you physically so that it will become easier and easier for you to speak the Truth until, one day, you find that you are nothing but Truth.
Return To Simplicity
As humans, we’re not very good at letting go. We choose to hold on to everything and anything – as if this accumulation, and ultimately, this hoarding serves some purpose other than “obsurification”.
Mentally, we hold on to wants, desires and beliefs that limit our ability to be fully present and re-act naturally. Physically, we hold our bodies unnaturally tight. We use our necks, shoulders and abdomens, like muscular rebar, to steady us against any uncontrollable, or unwanted, events.
And because we are so busy trying to control our environment mentally, physically and emotionally (including the people within it as well as ourselves) we often miss the softness, the stillness and the overflowing simplicity of life.
Winter is a time of turning in, of letting go physically, mentally and emotionally. As the nights lengthen, let yourself slow down on all of these fronts. Give yourself permission to turn within. Perhaps you want to sleep more or simply do less. During the dark nights of Winter, explore what lies behind your shell of assumptions. Let go of any motivations and beliefs that may have relentlessly driven you over the past year.
Simply relax back into your body as if it were a big, soft, easy chair. Let yourself experience the soft, fleshy structure that you are.
Like a tree in Winter, drop both your brightly colored and fading leaves. Like a tree in Winter, allow yourself to root deeply in the vibrant, unadorned spaciousness that you are. Relax your grip on life! Then see if you can let go….just a little bit more.
